As I sit here at the edge of the cliff overlooking the breathtaking view of the ocean, I couldn't help but think of how different life would've been if I had made different choices. If I had listened to my heart instead of my head, maybe things would've turned out differently. But, here I am, all alone, with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company.
"It was hard," Gavin stated as we reminisced about the past. We love each other so much yet in the end our path is separated.
"I know. But it's better this way," I replied, smiling weakly, trying to convince myself more than him.
We both knew that what we had was never meant to be. We were from different worlds, with different aspirations and dreams. Our lives were intertwined for a brief moment, but it was never meant to be forever.
He wants to fight for our relationship– for our love. He really loves me because he can leave everything just for me. He can leave his dream for me. And I don't want that. Hindi ko gusto na ako ang dahilan kung bakit ayaw na niyang abutin ang pangarap niya. I love him and I want him to reach his dream. If letting him go is the best option for him to pursue his dream, I would gladly do it. I love him and I choose to let go. I choose the path that is separated from him.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, letting the salty breeze wash over me. In another lifetime, maybe things would be different. Maybe we would be able to make it work.
But as I opened my eyes, I realized that this was the hand we were dealt with, and we had to move on. We hugged each other tightly, and with tears in our eyes, we smiled and said our goodbyes.
Years had gone by, and I had learned to live without him. I graduated and started a business– a cafe. I'm not totally moved on from him, I usually think of him in everything I do. From sleeping, eating, painting and doing different kinds of coffee. I miss him. If only-
"Miss?" Someone interrupt my thoughts and I'm thankful for that. Mahina akong napamura sa mga naiisip. Miss him pala ha? Bakit mo pinakawalan? Bakit mo iniwan? Inhale, exhale.
"Miss? Excuse me?" Huminga ako ng malalim bago humarap sa tumatawag sakin. Nasa dalampasigan ako, nanonood ng paglisan ng araw.
"Yes?" I politely asked.
He asked me to take pictures of them– him and his girlfriend. They look good together I must say. They are very in love with each other.
"Thank you, miss!" He said as they bid a goodbye. Ngumiti ako kahit may naaalala na hindi dapat.
Huminga ako nang malalim at pumikit. Pigilan mo ang utak mo Kreia, pigilan mo. Sa inis ay napapadyak ako sa buhangin. Pinagsisipa ko ang mga bato at napapasuntok sa hangin.
"Pigilan mo! Pigilan mo kasi! Wala kang naaalala ha! Wala!" Sigaw ko sa sarili.
Parang kami lang- aishhhh. Napasabunot ako sa buhok. Napaupo sa buhangin.
"Sabing wag mong alalahanin eh," naiiyak na saad ko.
"Kainis!" Sigaw ko at pumulot ng bato. Tumayo ako at binato eto sa dagat. Kitang kita ko kung gaano kalayo ang narating ng bato. Katulad ko, malayo na ang narating pero may kulang. Hindi pa rin sapat, may hinahanap pa.
I sighed. Sa paglisan ng araw ay siyang pag patak ng aking luha. Inaamin sa sarili na mahal ko pa rin siya at hindi ako tumigil sa pagmamahal sa kaniya.
"Ang tangà kasi eh," bulong ko. "Ang tangà, tangà." Iyak ko.
Hindi pa man humupa ang pag-iyak ko, may naramdaman akong presensiya sa tabi ko. I thought it was my best friend but the presence says it is not. The only presence that I want to feel again.
Unti-unting kong inangat ang aking ulo papunta sa direksyon niya. He's here. He's really here. He's more mature than before. His shoulders became more broad, his eyes were intimidating yet soft, his nose, and his lips that I want to kiss again. He's staring at me like he misses me.
"G-gavin" After five years, this is the first time I said his name again.
Ngumiti siya, "Kreia, I'm back." He said as he open his arm to give me a hug. Tumulo ang luha ko at walang pag dadalawang isip na niyakap siya.
But as fate would have it, Gavin came back into my life. He pursued his dream not just for him but for me.
We met again, and it felt like no time had passed. We talked, laughed, and reminisced about old times. And in that moment, I realized that everything happens for a reason. Our paths may have diverged in the past, but it brought us back to where we needed to be.
As we hugged each other again, this time with joy in our hearts, I knew that in another lifetime, we would always find our way back to each other.